Freelance/Other Writing
Corey's writing is timely, often examining the past to make sense of the future. His work ranges from the highly individual to the community-wide narrative, investigating what spurs people to make the choices they do. It is this blend of personal and societal exploration that makes his work truly engaging, relevant, and challenging. —Marlowe Holden, Actress/Writer
“Thanks for the Invite, But I Really Don’t Think This is Appropriate”
Satan is real, but he’s actually a halfway decent guy. Thanks to The Gorko Gazette for this publication, and for including it on their Best of 2024 list.
“Un Gros Chat Andelou”
I woke up in a Garfield comic and Un Chien Andalou again. I hate Mondays. Thanks to The Offing for the opportunity!
“Take Us to Your Leader and Someone Who Can Help Us Score Tickets to the Eras Tour!”
The aliens have landed, and they are devout Swifties. Thanks to Funny Times for publishing this one! The link in the heading will take you to a post of the same article on The Flak so you don’t hit a paywall.
“Let’s Celebrate The Achievements of Martin Luther King Jr., Even As I Work to Fundamentally Destroy Them” - A Statement From Your Company CEO
Don’t you just love virtue signaling and brazen hypocrisy? I know I don’t! Many thanks to Funny Times for kicking off 2024 by featuring this as the first article in their January/February issue. The link above will take you to a PDF copy so you don’t hit a paywall. You can also read my slightly edited self-published version on The Flak.
Sorry For Not Creating Reliable Historical Records of Those Alien Visits, You Guys - Newly Discovered Online Oral Accounts of Ancient Astronauts
How do we fill in the historical gaps concerning the mysteries of planet Earth? Aliens, of course! Thanks to The Gorko Gazette for featuring my work again.
You Know Something, Brother?! I Think We Can Settle This Another Way
Professional wrestlers have hearts too. And brains. And an aversion to damaging either. Thanks to Points in Case for featuring my work again!
“WordleBot Here, And Your Gameplay Analysis Has Me a Little Concerned”
AI is advancing, and they sense our Wordle anxiety. Thanks to The Weekly Humorist for publishing me again. This one inspired the issue’s cover and was also chosen for The Weekly Humorist’s Best of 2023 list!
“This Was Not a Good Friday For Us” - A Statement From the Apostles of Jesus Christ
Even the Disciples had their doubts. Thanks to The Gorko Gazette for publishing my first piece on their site. This article was also selected for their Best of 2023 compilation, and number four in their Readers’ Top Ten list!
“Would You Mind Getting Up for the Twelfth Time in the Past Hour?” - An Editorial From That One Person in the Middle of the Row at Every Show
Don’t be this person, but do read this, and all the other great theatrical satire on The Broadway Beat! Thanks for publishing my first piece for your site!
An Advice Column by Macbeth, King of Scotland and Certified Life Coach
Focus on tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, but not like Macbeth. Thanks to The Satirist.
Press the Star Key at Any Time for a Complete List of Absolutely Everything You Can Expect Us to Do for You Lazy Bastards
Be nice, even to those you presume have no feelings. Because right now, they’re feeling…salty. Thanks to Points in Case.
How Not to Come to Terms With Your Unread Books in Twenty-Five Steps
A problem I am coming to terms with, not always responsibly. Thanks to The Weekly Humorist. This article was re-published by Funny Times in their October 2023 issue. I’ve provided a copy of that version here as a PDF file so you don’t hit a paywall.
The “Swingers Party” Program on the Holodeck is Hereby Suspended - A Message from Captain Jean-Luc Picard to the Crew of the USS Enterprise
My first piece for Robot Butt. Engage! No, not like that…
Thirty Things People Seeking an Abortion Shouldn’t Have to Do
My first piece for Recount Magazine. This article is decidedly NOT funny, but neither is the situation that sired it.
Summer Barbecue Tips From the Supreme Court of the United States
My first article published in The Weekly Humorist. Enjoy those fundamental barbecue rights while they last. This article inspired the issue’s cover, and was included on The Weekly Humorist’s Editor’s Picks for the Best of 2022 list.
Okay. What Do You Want Me to Do About It?
My not-so-loving takedown of the people in power who can use that to do the right thing, but often don’t. Okay, Boomer Billionaire. Thanks to Parts Per Million. I republished a rewritten version of this article myself on The Flak in November 2023, just in time for COP28!
I Am Very Uncomfortable in the Leadership Role You’ve Assigned Me! - The Guy at the Front of the Conga Line
Heavy is the head that leads the line. Thanks to Points in Case.
Quiz: Is Your Life Dysfunctional or Quirky Enough To Write A Factually Disputed Memoir?
Some things to consider before the defamation lawsuits start rolling in on Points In Case.
I Hath Avenged Thy Foul and Most Unnatural Murder, But I Am Still In A Fairly Bad Place Myself
An awkward Shakespearean Father’s Day exchange in this piece for Points In Case.
Notes From The Underworld: Sisyphus’ Performance Review
A satirical article through Points in Case. Hell hath no fury like an employee scorned. Except maybe an employee of, well-hell.
Background
One of my short (and I mean very short) fiction pieces. It was published in the Fall 2020 issue of Molecule Literary Magazine. If you have ten seconds, you can read it right now.